One Answer to This Question
One question in the HubPages "Questions" section was, "Why do homosexuals think it's so important that the bulk of society accept them?" The following is my answer to that question:
Like any other group of people, not all homosexual people "all think alike". The group is made up individuals. Having said that, the general wish not to be an "outcast" in society and to be treated with respect is the reasonable wish of any human being not wanted to be looked down on for what he is, particularly if he's a kind, decent, person who abides by the law and doesn't hurt anyone or anything else.
Some people in that "group" do carry things too far, but so do people in other groups a lot of the time. There are promiscuous heterosexuals who think "anything should go" and society should accept them. There are people from religious groups who think "the bulk of society" should accept the beliefs of their own religion. There are people who beat their children and think everyone else should beat theirs too. Then, too, there are people who volunteer for charity and think everyone in the world should do the same thing too. The point is sometimes there's the reasonable expectation of having everyone else accept who we are and what we do, and then sometimes there's the unreasonable expectation.
Differences among people lie where the lines are drawn and are based on individual beliefs about what's important, what's right, and what's wrong. We may not always like where someone else draws the line (or the fact that he doesn't seem to draw the line at all), but the idea of all human beings believing that, as people, they have a right to be accepted and treated as human beings, isn't a very difficult one to understand at all. What any of us accepts is our own business, and that, of course, is the challenge for anyone hoping to be accepted and/or respected by society. As for me, as a White, heterosexual, woman and mother of three grown children; I'm still trying to get at least some individuals in society to accept that women can be as smart and emotionally strong as men (and are sometimes smarter or emotionally stronger than men), that mothers (even middle-aged ones) often know what they're talking about, and that short people aren't dumber than, or otherwise inferior to, tall ones.
The point is it's lousy, frustrating, and disgusting to live in a world that, even when treating you with what would seem to be respect, has in the back of its unenlightened mind that you're inferior in some way - just because you're whatever you happen to be. When The Women's Movement involved a lot of women looking and behaving in ways that weren't, in my opinion, very attractive I used to think, "You don't have to be loud and yelling in order to get respect in this world. I'm going to be my
regular, feminine, self' (complete with a soft voice and make-up) and the world will figure out that someone who looks and sounds like me (and is quiet and polite and has dignity) can actually be strong and smart and 'more than equal' much of the time". Well, that was decades ago; and I've had all that time to try doing things my way and hoping the world would figure out that someone like me can be equal. It turns out I was wrong. When you're quiet and polite and dignified people often don't pay any attention and are more than happy to overlook you or even They often think you're someone who is "nice enough" but who has nothing to say worth paying attention to.
More sobering is that young, homosexual, people have often grown up being made to feel like such outcasts they've taken their own lives. It has been said that young African-American kids or that young girls have in the past not seen anyone on television, in executive roles, or high political office, who looks like they do. There has been the "subtle" (or not so-subtle) message that gaining power in this world is "not for people like them". It's been the same way for young people who are gay or lesbian. Many people believe it's important that young people not be sent that message, because when they are they often give up on bothering to achieve, expect respect from others, or develop self-respect.
When you live long enough in a world that thinks you're less in some way you start raising your voice and/or raising your signs and being angry enough at society to adopt the "I'm mad as hell and not going to take it any more" attitude.
If you were look at a site like "Yahoo Answers", and go to the "gender" category, you would see that all these decades after The Women's Movement went into "full swing" there's a disgusting number of people who write questions about "feminists". First, there are people who equate "feminists" only with women who don't look attractive. Second, even those who don't often show real contempt/hatred toward women who "have the audacity" to "expect society to respect women the same as men". Sometimes the contempt and hatred are directed at women in general. Sometimes it's directed only at women who won't wear make-up or otherwise try to make their appearance more "acceptable" to men (or society in general). Sometimes the contempt and hatred are directed at women who may look "traditionally feminine" and even pretty but who, in some ignorant person's mind, "have the nerve" to be expect to be seen as equally worthy of respect as an equal human being.
In other words, if you go to a site where you can see a sampling of how any number of people in society think you'll see "misogyny on parade" because people who want/need to think that other people are less than they are won't let go of such aggressive and egotistical beliefs very easily (and aggression and ignorance do seem to have a way of hanging on decades after "the rest of society" seems to have changed). In other words, all these years after society made strides in believing that the concept of women-as-equal should be accepted, a surprising number of people still hate women in general, or else hate those who "have the audicity" to expect to be respected as equals. In still other words, women are often hated or seen as "inferior" just because they happened to be born women. Some people hate "the feminine-looking ones". Others hate "the un-feminine looking ones". Some hate all women. Some don't hate women, as long as "everyone" understands that "women cannot possibly be equal in intelligence, emotional strength, or skill to men".
The same kind of thing has gone on with race in the U.S. It wasn't that long ago when Black Americans made a lot of other people feel threatened or angry by "rocking the boat" and "yelling" about expecting to be treated/seen as "equal". Again, all these decades later some people "don't get" what "all the yelling has been about". When America elected its first non-White President (less than two years ago) there was, and still is, talk about whether this individual's race "matters". Some of the questions raised would seem to be of the variety and nature of questions that would arise if "Martians" shocked "Earthlings" by landing on Earth. In a country where fifty-year-olds can recall seeing "White-Only" signs in America, and a country where unimaginable mistreatment of people from Africa and their children occurred as it did, even progress hasn't eliminated the too-common suspicion that people "only like the President" because of his color or else "only dislike him because of his color - not his policies." Again, the whole "race thing" has always been about what people happen to have been born.
There have always been people who respect other people, no matter who or what those other people are; but there have always been people who won't/can't respect people who don't fall within the boundaries of what someone else thinks is "right" or "equal". Somewhere along the way, the idea that homosexual human beings (or even animals, for that matter) shouldn't be mistreated, and should be accepted, for who/what they are became something that most people who don't want to mistreat anyone else believed and/or started to talk about.
The idea that people should be accepted and respected no matter how they looked, or who they love; and that how decent, kind, and law-abiding someone is matters more than their choice of partner; is one embraced by many heterosexuals and homosexuals, alike. Somewhere along the way a lot of us figured out that things like altruism, empathy, compassion, brilliance, strength, and character aren't always wrapped in White, heterosexual, male wrappings. In fact, somewhere along the way a lot of us finally figured out that the "measure of a man" (or woman) isn't about the package in which he's wrapped at all.
Even with all that progress for human-kind, a lot of us who aren't wrapped in "White, heterosexual, male" packages deal on a daily basis with the misguided preconceptions of others. And, even with all that progress, there are still people who, while not believing that what's wrapped in any package is "garbage", still don't quite get it when it comes to realizing that what's wrapped in one package or another may actually be equal, or even superior, in character and integrity,
Regardless of what group any of us is in, when it's a group that a lot of other people truly think needs to be "kept in its place", it's "never pretty" when we don't want to be "kept in our place". Those who don't approve of what we are, or don't like how we think or what we do, "don't get" why "people like us" think we should be respected and accepted as equals. People who believe that other human beings are "less" in some way don't think those others even have a right to expect better treatment and acceptance. ("Hmmm - why would anyone like that even dare to think he has a right to be equally respected and accepted!")
Just the other day I was on the HubPages forum and spotted a comment about divorce. The thread caught my eye because I'm divorced, and the question was whether divorce is a "coward's way out". On the thread there were the usual comments that implied that people who get divorced are essentially "flawed" in some way, and that their attitude toward making their marriage work is essentially "inferior" to the attitudes of those who "are willing to work on it".
As someone who knows how seriously I took my marriage, how much I was willing to work on it, and how long I waited to make the difficult and undesirable decision to divorce; I pretty much know that I "deserve the prize" for taking things seriously, and "the crown" for trying to avoid divorce. It bothered me to read blanket-statements about divorced people, because those were the statements of people who don't understand how divorce can happen - not the statements of people who do. Without ever intending to take up too much time and space with my comments, I ended up going on and on about how divorce can happen to even people who aren't "flawed" when it comes to relationships and attitude.
I asked myself why I would be bothered going on and on in something as "silly" as a forum, and I - as always - realized that when we run into misguided attitudes about what we are (in this case, a divorced person), and when we sense someone else is feeling superior to us, it's just a natural instinct to speak up and try to preserve our place "as equals" in society. I think most of us would be reasonably OK with having others see us as "less" if we've done something cruel or illegal; but if we're normal it usually goes very much against our human nature to be willing to be viewed as "less" when, in our hearts, we know we're not only not "less" but may even be "more" than some people who aren't as compassionate, understanding, or respectful of others as we are.
When we're people who respect all people it's natural that we expect the same from others in return. When we're people who don't think we're superior or "better" than anyone else we often know, too, that nobody else is "less" than we are and that everybody else deserves to be accepted (unless, of course, they harm someone else).
Who we're attracted to, or who we love; or for that matter how we dress, wear our hair, or speak are private things that aren't anyone else's business. A whole lot of people (homosexual or heterosexual) believe that no human beings should be outcasts (or even just thought less of) in society, or should be seen as "inferior", for those things. When people who happen to be homosexual "think it's so important" that society accept them they aren't expecting heterosexual people to change who they are. They're just believing that nobody else should expect them to change what they can't, and expecting society to accept, and respect, them for who they are and will always be. That's just human nature, and it shouldn't be difficult to understand.
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